I do want to do something.

The summer is in autumn
October 2, 2007, 2:49 pm
Filed under: London notes

No light coming from the window, no light in the room, and feeling always a bit breathless and burpy. And thinking, thinking, thinking. About about about. I pay attention to this words, about, on , with, and, but, or, with. Thinking about how I think, and there is no way out, but to be with me. Useless to run away, where, into other thoughts. Have to find a particularity, always already have a particularity. Trying to be “here” without seeing it in opposition to “there”. Am I really interested in “space”? Yes, as a way to think where I am. Now you are so far away. Into another world, time, space, in my heart? To what rhythm does my heart beat, to what time and to what space? If my heart is not “attuned to the heartbeat of contingency”  (E. Kososfky Sedgwick) was it or is it ever. Thinking is already a step aside. So there was no summer, no tan no bodily transformation, a bit of boots and a bit of sandals, warm but always a bit windy. Craving for the sun and getting use to the rain. This meteorological dislocation is the setting that orchestrates my life. I don’t like when the plane moves, nothing has to move but everything is, and when the tube stops, panic. Need to stand on my feet, need to be able to stop, and breath (“ take a deep breath” Skype). Need to feel the ground under my feet and my body at an in each of my steps, need to feel my body again, between seasons, the plane and the tube, here and there.

1 Comment so far
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complimenti. potente.

Comment by gale beaufort

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